We Don’t Always Say “Survivors,” Because Not Everyone Survives.
*Content Warning: sexual assault, suicide
To this day, I have a vivid memory of driving down the highway after an infuriating and exhausting meeting with the district attorney.
In that meeting, she had told me that they had decided not to prosecute my rapist.
While explaining her decision, she assured me that she watched the video of him being questioned and then said the words that would echo in my head for over a decade: “I’ll be honest. I have never heard a perpetrator tell such a consistent story.”
At that moment, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. While she didn’t say it directly, the message was clear: “I don’t believe you, and a jury won’t either.”
I felt hollow and lost on that drive. I wailed and sobbed as I drove. And with my hands gripping the steering wheel, I remember feeling the overwhelming urge to swerve my car off the road.
Luckily, I didn’t.
But every time I hear about cases like Daisy Coleman and so many others whose names are less well-known, I am brought back to that moment.
I have since learned that rape victims are 4x more likely to contemplate suicide and 13x more likely to attempt it.
I strongly believe that these statistics are not just caused by the shame and PTSD that those who have endured sexual violence are forced to grapple with.
But it is also our system that so frequently fails them.
It is for these reasons that I have become such a passionate advocate for tools like Callisto. If I had been able to learn whether my perpetrator had harmed others prior to leaping feet-first into a system so incredibly broken, I might have had a stronger case…or I might not have reported at all.
Either way, it could have saved me from that horrific drive…a drive that - had the stars not aligned as they did - could have ended much differently.
With September being Suicide Prevention Month, I ask you to support organizations like Callisto, because protecting and empowering survivors of sexual assault IS suicide prevention.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my experience and for continuing to support Callisto. It means so much to so many who, in this moment, are in the midst of their own difficult drives.
*If you are struggling, please reach out to our friends at the Crisis Text Line by texting SHARE or APOYO to 741741.
We're so glad you're here. Please stay.
Danielle Tansino is an ex-therapist, activist, and Callisto’s Digital Media Manager. You can learn more about her and the rest of Callisto’s small-but-mighty team here.